A Look At Online Dating Part 1

I'm sitting here on a Saturday, NOT DRUNK, and find myself not being able to sleep. I landed on two subjects that I wanted to write an article about... Bullying or Online Dating. Bullying is all the craze right now... so I'll save that for another time. So let's get down to the nitty gritty about online dating.

They say that there is someone out there for everyone... they say that there is someone out there made JUST FOR YOU, and your soul mate is somewhere out there.... I KNOW... SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS SHIT!

The truth is... TRUE LOVE is a load of horse shit, it is simply hunger food for the dependent. Fact of the matter is most women get married because they have either:

A. Found a guy that makes her feel secure in some way. Whether its financial, emotional, or she is in one of those situations where she is dating a guy less attractive then her (and she knows he will never be able to get anyone better.)

B. She has found someone "She Can Fix". A lot of girls (from a very young age) are put on an arbitrary throne and are treated like princesses, some of these girls do not want a prince charming... they want a man who is in and out of prison, can't hold down a job, or just simply treats them like shit.

C. She does not want to spend the rest of her life alone.


There are more reasons, but this is the typical three (that I have encountered), and sometimes it can be a combination of many things. When a woman cannot find what she is looking for through friends, family, or spin class... she looks towards humanities last resort... ONLINE DATING.... here are some types of women you will find online.


#1- Single Mom Looking For A Daddy

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a single mother... My mom is a single mom, and that is swell. However, JUST KNOW that if a woman has kids and is on a DATING SITE, she is looking for a DADDY! So don't go into the Lion's Den unless your willing to entertain the cubs.



#2- The College/Career Girl With No Time

I know that most of you Blitzers are probably going to be trying to get laid (and I love you for it) and some of you are actually looking for your future wife (better you then me). Just know that you are going to run into a lot of women, who barely have enough time to sleep, let alone go on dates, or fall for prince charming. This is going to be the one that is going to be apprehensive, give you weird vibes, and probably thinks YOUR THE WEIRD ONE for going on a date with her. Most of these girls create pages because their friends are forcing them to date.

These are the types of girls that you should try to hump and dump... because more then likely they will be cool with it (and more then likely are doing the same thing.) Not really relationship material though, unless you are cool with only seeing someone twice a week (sounds heavenly enough to me).




#3- HOT GIRL WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS

If you see an attractive woman on a dating website... ASK YOURSELF. Why is she on here?  9 times out of 10... she is whacked in the fucking head. Most men who have met her in person realize that something just isn't right and they either "hit it and quit it" or just flat out avoid it altogether. These are definitely women you should avoid being in a relationship with... because they might just end up killing you... or even worse... convince you to marry them... making you listen to their psycho babble for the rest of your life!


#4- GIRL THAT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE HER PROFILE PICS!!!

This is a situation that we are going to cover in Part 2. However, this is definitely a type of person that you can potentially run into on your crusade for love or va-jay-jay. This is the type of person that puts up pictures from 2-3 years ago... before she either
A. Had Kids.
B. Put On Weight.
C. Got Addicted to Drugs.
D. Just simply Aged.
E. All of the above.

There is nothing worse then thinking you are going to go on a date with a model... only to run into shamoo!


#5- SERIAL DATER

Let me let you in on a little secret..... YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ASSHOLE TRYING TO GET LAID ON THE INTERNET and just as you find yourself as a kid in a candy store... so do these WOMEN. A lot of them like to date multiple people... and sometimes you WILL find yourself as the number two or number three... possibly the number twenty-seven. Be mindful and DON'T FALL FOR THESE HUSSIES!









There are more types, but these are the most common women you will run into with online dating. Within the next few days I will go over part 2... SITUATIONS AND HOW TO DEAL. But take this lesson with you, online dating is a great place... if you are just looking to fool around... it is NOT the IDEAL place to meet the mother of your kids... HOWEVER, I do know people who have met their so-called "Soul Mates" online and I am happy for them. I'm not saying that you won't find love online... I'm just saying that ITS NOT LIKELY.